Eight Years ago, we hosted a holiday party in the basement of a local church. It was marvelous. There were dozens of children, and to our delight, there were even more toys. It was also the year that MASK received the deed to our new home.
After the party, we found ourselves still in possession of lots of toys. There was no Ash then. He would have benefitted tremendously from our surplus!
We called around to children's hospitals, women's shelters, and churches, but not many people answered, and the ones who did told us they had more than enough, so our contribution wasn't needed.
Christmas day comes, and we still have all of these toys.
My mom, a couple of friends, and one of my cousins- I'm certain everyone knows which one- head out on Christmas morning. And it was pre-climate change cold out.
We planned to drive around until we found a church that could use our donation. Ironically enough, we couldn't find a church open at 11 am on Christmas morning! Who knew?
So, we're driving aimlessly at this point, and then we see a man walking down the street with these two little girls. Again, it's freezing outside.
I yell out of the window, “ Do you all want some new toys?” The kids scream in the affirmative. I put my car in park, put on my blinkers, and jumped out of the car with an arm full of toys for these two little girls. Their father thanks us profusely. Traffic is kinda messed up for a minute, but it's Christmas and freezing, so who cares? These kids are warm. And that's all that matters.
I get back in the car, and we decide that we're going to go where people, like the guy with two little girls, are. We're going to go where people need the most help.
We pulled up in front of a dollar store where a young man walking by told us that he wasn't going to be allowed to see his children that day because he didn't have any presents for them, and what we gave him made it possible for him to be with his family that day. We were then told to head east to the south shore, where there were tons of poor people in large apartment buildings. That's where we were off to next.
When we got there, it was just as we were told it was. Lots of people needed help but didn't trust outsiders. Instead of ringing doorbells, knocking on windows, or invading their space. We parked on a main street and let the curious come and check us out. We were fresh out of toys in about 15 minutes.
This would change the way we would do Christmas from then on.
One of the lessons we learned was sometimes when people say they don't have it, they really don't. We threw a party and had toys left over, but maybe that was because some parents didn't have bus fare or gas money. They may have had to work multiple jobs. We don't know what the circumstances of others may be. So, sometimes we have to go to them.
And that's what we've done for the last eight years.
Our giving circle and caravan have grown exponentially in the last few years. The majority of the toys we give away each year don’t come from houses of worship or elected officials. It comes from the “unlisted”—people who claim no religion or are just religion adjacent.
We don’t just get contributions from the people who can quote the bible cover to cover. We get them from everyday average people who still struggle with their humanity and good and bad inclinations.
Sometimes, when we go to Temple, Church, Mosque, etc., we believe because of our attendance or some other superficial reason, we are as good as we’re going to get, and paying tithes and showing up on weekends is enough. It’s not. We’re only as good as the amount of engagement we have with a problematic world that constantly challenges us.
We often do great alone or when we’re separated from the world. It’s easy. It’s not hard to deal with people with whom you have lots in common. They don’t test you.
It’s the ones who are never satisfied. The ones who say, yes, you gave, but not enough. It’s those who still will accept your goodwill while at the same time implying you may worship Satan and be suffering from an identity crisis because you’re Black but not Christian. It’s the ones who don’t seem to even know the meaning of the word gratitude. Those people try you. They make you walk the talk. And while they may be irritating to no end, they’re necessary.
They show us who we really are, and if we’re as patient with others as we’re taught, G-d is with us.
Every year, no matter what happens or how we are tested, I am honored to be part of a group that still shows up.
Our caravan has grown so much that we’re weighing whether we will turn it into a full-blown parade next year. Can you imagine a parade, with alternating routes every year, going through the most blighted neighborhoods on Christmas morning with Santa, multiple DJs, and thousands of gifts for all of the children along the route? That would be epic.
Chicago could use some more good days and every year, the people who show up to donate, drive, knock on doors, and pass out gifts create them. I could thank the people who showed up and made some kid's Christmas unforgettable, but that seems too small. Maybe there’s no need for a thank you. We just owe each other another year. They didn’t do it for me, and I didn't do it for them. We did it for the kids, and that’s what we’re all committed to.
See y’all next Christmas (and others in a few weeks for giveaway day)!
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